CNR: "The Claudius App"

Eric Linsker and Jeff Nagy have asked me to post this CNR (call for negative reviews). I told Eric and Jeff, I was ready, willing, and able to write a crippling critique of any one of my books. After all, I am ideally suited for the assignment as I saw where the manufacturer used shoddy materials to save money and speed up the production. However, as I told the guys, I have signed a confidentially agreement. After I got their request, I asked my lawyers to see to if we could get around the agreement in this special case, but they say it ironclad®. As an alternative, I suggested The Claudius App you run an ad for my new line of ironclad® products, from nursery to dementia care.  But then I don't know if I want to be running around with a bunch of fast poets. I'd especially like to recant my last book, especially “Recantorium,” but it poses a logical problem that I am hoping Caroline Whitbeck, who is workining on a disseration on the “pallinodic strain” will be able to work out for me.

Call for Negative Reviews
The Claudius App has a shortlist of books we’re hoping that someone out there will savage (Lerner’s Mean Free Path, Zapruder’s Come on All You Ghosts, Lin’s 7 controlled vocabularies and obituary 2004. The Joy of Cooking, Pinsky’s just-appeared Selected, Spahr’s Well Then There Now, Powell’s Chronic), but we are amenable to most any suggestion, including negative reviews of older works that refuse to crumble like Ozymandias (A, My Life, Rivers and Mountains), negative reviews of magazines, of individual poems, of a body of blurbs (Gizzi’s modular hyperboles), or, even, critical prose on objects beyond our medium generic boundaries. What we’re looking for could come in any length. Speed-reading has no time for page counts.  Query editors@theclaudiusapp.com.