Of Lilies Muskroot Crocuses and Something Similar

And he sang for me in the Naropa hotel a mourning song his grandmother from rural

Pennsylvania taught him and that he later sang when his boyfriend Earth was killed. He was

thinking of singing it instead of talking about crystals on the panel but then talked about

crystals on the panel we were on together. And she handed me a strawberry from her

garden. And he said that from the very beginning the moment we first met he thought about

co-parenting with me, but that he probably couldn’t do it the terror was too great but we

could talk about it and it was first spring and we both saw it and through the budding we

embraced and then embraced again and they said that I should do one of two things at my

reading at the place where they had gone to school in the pacific northwest and offered “I

keep imagining you pulling a ribbon out of your mouth it’s balled up in there and as you pull

it out there’s less and less so you become more and more legible” and I said how do I pull it

out and what color is it and why is it there and they said I don’t know and also that “I also

saw you with your hands and forearms sunk into a clear bowl of water” and he made me

chicken soup and let me walk his dogs with him and also accepted the reiki grid turned

toward the west from Philadelphia when he was sick and let us all write into it and we all did

and it overcame the abacus I started to see over multiple pelvises that spring and she said

that no I had halo light all around me, she texted this to me before the reading so that I

wouldn’t be dominated and said it doesn’t matter what they think and they said that I should

move there right away, this was before we kissed that it would make them so happy if I

moved in with both of them in their house on the other coast immediately and she met me

with her little son at the train and she was the grace right into me so often and they said I

want to have mutual aid with you forever and she said my son can’t do it my sister can’t do it

you are the one I want to train you a few minutes after we first met and she told me about

doves circling the spine or the chakras the feathers flying and we both said that it happens so

fast too fast and he said to shake like a bear that is how to let go of trauma, that is what

would work. And they gave me a tangerine crystal wrapped and wrapped. And when I asked

she said that the book needed more blood. And I told them and they made one red page at

the beginning and one at the end after saying that they came up with the book design by

thinking about how they felt sexually arrested when they looked at a poisonous snake and

also something about some man in a photograph with his arms crossed over him 150 years

ago and she read her poem to me on my birthday when it was the only thing that I wanted at

all and it had apples in it and then she published on her birthday and I often felt total power

or total powerlessness when I read from that Devastation book only it was something I had

no control over what would happen what would come through me the power or the

powerlessness but then with them there I somehow got out of that awful binary and felt

something else besides the power or the powerlessness.


And she said to write the gospel from the women’s perspective; it seems crazy but you can

do it.


As the doves or the feathers reach to make their final decent.


And they all came to my reading.